No Minivan

Sometimes people just really piss me off.

I don’t know if it was the dose of Lex.a.pro I missed or the fact that I’m on the rag or that I was recovery from jet lag (just returned from the Netherlands) or a combination of all of the above, but I have been cranky as all get out for the last few days. And the one thing that was really eating at me was that it looked like my husband had not planned anything for our wedding anniversary (Before you jump on your high horse, I plan everything else in our lives. And I mean EVERYTHING. It’s not unreasonable that I expect him to plan our anniversary and Valentine’s Day dates). It was last week (June 30th) and since I was out of town, we just exchanged emails to commemorate the day. I thought I would come home to dinner plans or at least a card. I had picked up a very romantic card at the Hallmark in the airport and had written a near paragraph of sweet nothings in it.

I came home to nothing. No card, no plans for dinner*, nothing. So obviously I was a little disappointed. The longer the weekend went on, the more disheartened I felt. Finally I posted a comment on Facebook, hoping for a little support for my girls. One of the moms from Hubby’s playgroup posts “”Aww, cut him a break. As the wife of someone who travels, it is exhausting being a part time single parent.”

To that, I say “FUCK YOU.” First of all, how lazy is she, that she’s too exhausted to pick up a card?!?. Secondly and most importantly, my husband knows exactly how much I appreciate him and what he does for our family (in fact, I wrote just that in his anniversary card!). And as someone on the other side of the fence, let me tell you just how stressful it is to be the sole breadwinner for a family of four. Let’s talk about how “exhausted” you’d be if your spouse lost his job and you had to be the one working 40+ hours for the financial support of your family, knowing that if you lost your job your family would be without food, clothing and electricity (or feeling completely ashamed to you ask your family/friends for financial help). And we all know it’s nice to get a break from the family now and then, but let’s consider the ‘joy’ of traveling away from your kids for 3 weeks straight, only coming home long enough to give your spouse a break before you hop on another plane, or spend 11 hours in an airport, sleeping on the floor (in a puddle no less), because another flight was canceled.

Instead of taking my kids to playgroup, I spend my days in front of a computer in a cubicle. Instead of tucking my kids in at night for the last 3 weeks, I could only talk to them online or on the phone. I don’t deny that being a full time parent is stressful, exhausting and sometimes downright irritating, but don’t think that a working spouse’s job isn’t just as stressful, exhausting and downright irritating. And definitely do not imply that I don’t appreciate what my husband does. I have the utmost respect for stay at home parents and I also know that I would take on that exhausting job in a heartbeat.

*Turns out there were plan for a dinner date next weekend, he just didn’t tell me until I complained. Apparently, in addition to making dental appoinments, teacher appointments and renewing the Zoo membership while I’m traveling around the world, I’m also supposed to be psychic.